LAUGH IT OUT!!
1. Men like to barbeque. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom.
4. Most husbands’ or men’s early films end with a scream and a flush.
5. Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”
6. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
7. Men are very confident people. A husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates, he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from the living room, and if they are really in trouble, the wife has to get off the phone in case they call him.
8. If its attention you want, dont get involved with a man during playoff season.
9. Men like phones with lots of buttons. it makes them feel important.
10. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
11. All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
12. The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
13. Dont try to teach men how to do anything in public. they can learn in private; in public they have to know.
14. Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
15. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. Sleep with one under your pillow, instead of a gun.
16. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
17. Men love watches with multiple functions. A husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.
18. All men hate to hear, “We need to talk about our relationship”. These seven words strike fear in the heart of even the Inspector General of Police.
19. Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
20. Men are sensitive in strange ways, If a man has built a camp fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
21. All men think that they’re nice guys. Some of them are not. Ask disgruntled women for a list of names.
22. Men dont get cellulite.
23. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Woman have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
24. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleep next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
25. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. Rarely does a man walk into a party and say “Oh my Gosh. Im so embarassed; get me out of here. There’s another man wearing a black tuxedo”